JXHQ: Don't Be Mad
by Mrs.Volterra
Summary: JokerXHarley oneshot. Set pre Arkham City videogame (SPOILERS). Harley Quinn has something to tell the Joker, but is afraid to. He's sick enough as he is, why would he need anything extra to worry about? R&R.


**AN: Hey everyone, this is just a oneshot based off of events in Arkham City. It's basically about Harley breaking the news about being pregnant. So enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: DC has all rights.**

Harley sat on the toilet and shook her head in disbelief. A lump came to her throat as she stared down at the small, growing green stick in her hand, the 'plus' sign blurring as tears came to her eyes. It couldn't be. She could not be pregnant.

Well technically she could, after all she and the Joker had sex, though not too frequently. She was on the pill, but she knew it wasn't one hundred percent effective. But of all people, this couldn't be happening to her. Not now. It was such an awful time to bring a baby into the world.

Her beloved Joker had been ill for quite some time now. It had happened after Arkham Asylum, after he was back to normal. The Titan had done something, and she wasn't quite sure what, but it was bad. The many doctors they had brought in had no idea why the Joker was suddenly so sick, even though their lack of information had only ended in a bullet to the head. It was changing him, not just physically, because she'd noticed how his behavior was starting to differ.

He had only shot the doctors, for starters. Usually, if something didn't please him, he would hurt and torture someone until they simply broke down. He drew it out for hours, but this time? It had ended in seconds. And he was letting Harley do most things. He trusted her with dealing with the goons and taking care of whatever else he asked her to. She was happy to help him in any way, but at the same time, it worried her. He didn't hit as much anymore. It scared her. It was like he wasn't finding pleasure in doing things he had previously loved.

Taking in a shaky breath, Harley paused and tried to clear her head. What to do, what to do. She ran through all of her options, none sounding as if there were good solutions.

She could kill it. There were plenty of ways to get rid of a baby, especially this early on. But at the same time, it hurt to think of destroying the life she and Mistah J had created together. A piece of them. She had always wanted children, hasn't she? Whenever she imagined a future with the Joker, she imagined a small house with a boy and girl running around, laughing as their father picked them up and swung them through the air. "Oh God." She choked out. How could she even begin to consider getting rid of their baby? That was evil.

But still. Even if she tried hard enough, Harley wouldn't be able to keep this a secret from the Joker for long. Besides the side effects and bulging stomach, her boyfriend was a keen observer and could tell if something was wrong in an instant.

_If you don't say anything and he finds out, he'll be mad._ She told herself. And getting him mad was not a good idea, in his state. It might make him even more sick.

"You need to do it now." She said aloud. Yes. The sooner she got it over with, the better. It didn't stop the fear she felt at the idea of telling him from coming. "I have to be strong for both of us now." She murmured to her stomach.

xxx

"Mistah J?" She called, wringing her hands after knocking on the door of his office. She rocked back on her boots nervously. It wasn't too late for her to turn back and change her mind.

"Harley, come in." Came his deep voice, before he burst into a coughing fit. She obeyed, twisting the doorknob quietly and stepping into the room. She closed the door behind her and moved closer to her man, who was sitting in his chair behind the desk of the former manager. He was studying a map, brow furrowed in concentration. He glanced up to her, and the bloodshot whites of his emerald eyes frightened her. "What do you want, dear?" He noticed the way she chewed her lower lip. "What's wrong, Harley?"

Harley inched forward, looking at her feet uncertainly. "I just, just needed to tell you something, Boss." She said quietly. "But if you're busy-"

"No, this can wait." The Joker said, throwing the piece of paper to the side. "So?"

"I, um, I-"

"Spit it out, Harls." He interrupted, growing impatient. "We don't have all day."

Harley sighed wearily and tried to think of what to say. The words just wouldn't come. "Please, Mistah J, I mean, I just don't know what to say to explain."

The Joker tilted his head to the side. "Well, you need to know because I'm about to get mad, little girl. You wouldn't want to make Daddy mad when he's not feeling so good, do you?" She didn't answer. "Do you?" He asked again.

"I'm sorry." She mumbled. And all of the sudden words were tumbling out and she couldn't stop them. "Oh, Puddin', I tried so hard, I really did, and I thought it would work, and you're going to be angry, and I never meant to disappoint you, oh God, please, I'm so sorry!" And Harley fell to her knees and clutched at his pant leg, sobbing.

"What the hell, Harley?" He growled, shaking her off and pulling his long leg away. "Stop sniveling and tell me what the fuck you're blabbing on about!"

Harley bowed her head and whispered, "I'm- I'm pregnant, Mistah J."

For a moment, the infamous Clown Prince of Crime was stunned, was speechless. His jaw fell open a little, and he stared hard at his girlfriend. "You're pregnant?" He hissed.

"Yeah." She replied, feeling stronger. At least he hadn't gotten out of his chair yet.

"Come here." The Joker ordered, and she did so. A second later and she was on the floor, cradling her cheek.

She rubbed where he had slapped her hard, and whimpered. "Ouch." It was not so much the pain bringing tears to her eyes, as she had endured much more than a small slap, but more so what it represented. He was not happy with the news. Or perhaps it was the hormones. "I said I'm sorry!"

He laughed dryly. "Oh, and 'sorry' makes it any better? You're going to fix this, or else I will."

"What are you saying?" Harley asked with a note of horror.

He sneered and waved his hand around. "I'm saying to take care of it, Harley. We can't have a little brat running around right now, can we?"

"I can't believe you!" She shouted, a sob rising up in her throat. Mistah J couldn't mean it, could he? "This is our baby! Not an 'it' or 'little brat'. We brought him or her into this world and we have a responsibility to take care of this kid. Grow up, Daddy, and stop acting like a child yourself. If you won't help raise our baby, then that's fine. I'll leave." She finished with a resolute tone.

"_We _didn't bring anything into this world, you tart!" The Joker snarled. His hands clenched into fists. "It was you, because all you do is screw up. You're a failure, Harley, face it!"

"Well it takes two to tango, you bastard." Harley shrieked back. As soon as she saw the Joker jump up, she started scrambling backwards, but he leapt on top of her, pinning her to the ground. He ducked down so that he was close to her face, their noses almost touching, and she could smell him. A wave of sadness threatened to capsize her as she realized he no longer smelled like the mix of gunpowder, blood, and cologne she had come to love and cherish so much. He had the scent of sickness, of death. More tears leaked out of the corner of her bright blue eyes. "I just thought you'd be happy." She cried softly.

The Joker stared at her and something in those elusive emeralds seemed to flicker. He hovered above her, wheezing slightly. Slowly, he pulled away and sat on the floor beside her. "It's just crazy timing, you know?"

Harley wiped her eyes and shrugged. "Crazy is our normal, isn't it?" She asked.

He laughed sharply, but it sounded hollow to her. "Yeah. I guess it is. And maybe, it is good." He perked up. "Yeah. I mean, think about it, Harl. Look at me. I hate to be serious, but it's not looking so good for me. Maybe a kid, an heir, is just what we need now. A piece of a legend left behind."

"Don't say that!" She said in a strangled voice, grabbing his arm tightly. He looked thinner every day. "You ain't going to die, Mistah J, because you're strong and Ratman wouldn't dare let us down. Don't say that."

The Joker cocked an eyebrow. "Jeez, Harl. I was just saying." Suddenly, unexpectedly, he placed an arm around her small, hunched shoulders. "And you been doing good, kid. I'm impressed." She squirmed from the praise and blushed a bit.

"I learned from the best, Puddin'." She purred. She was surprised at how quickly the mood had changed. From relaxed, to angry and intense, now almost teasing.

"I guess I gotta be all nice to you now. No beating you, no puffing smoke in your face, stuff like that." He sighed. "That sucks." She laughed.

"I guess it does."

"You gotta be strong, Harl." He said, seriously. "This ain't going to be easy, but we can do this. I want to be there to see the kid's first kill, break outta Arkham together…all sorts of things. We can't do those things if I'm dead, huh? So you and me, we're going to make it. I always come out on top, I always win." Harley nodded fervently in agreement. He truly was almost unkillable, but this was the only time she'd ever truly been fearful for what lay ahead. Though the Joker was unstoppable, vicious, and would never go down without a fight, she wondered if this illness was something he could beat. She pushed the poisonous thoughts back and tried to forget them.

Harley leaned in and kissed his chapped, red lips. "I love you, Mistah J, and I'll do whatever it takes to keep you alive. Imagine how boring it would be! What would Gotham do?" She paused and looked away. A feeling of despair rose up. "What would_ I _do?" Her voice trembled.

The Joker grabbed her and pulled her close. "Hey. Don't think unfunny things. I'm right here, Pooh. And I'm going to be forever, making your life hell as soon as that baby pops out!" He grinned wickedly. "Me and him are going to make Mommy's life miserable."

"How do you know the baby'll be a 'he'?" She asked with a little smile. "What if it's a girl?"

"Nah." He dismissed, waving a long, white hand in the air. "It won't."

Harley just rolled her eyes. "So, you know, I was thinking about names. I've wanted kids forever, as I've said so many times, and I thought that if it's a boy, Joker Junior, or JJ for short, and Arleen if it was a girl." She looked at him hopefully. "What do you think, Pud'?"

"Sounds good to me, Harley-cat." He pinched her cheek. "But you're still my baby, little girl. Silly wittle Hawley!" He teased, and promptly began tickling her. She shrieked but didn't kick; she didn't want to hurt him. Eventually he had to stop as deep coughs rattled his thin frame. He whisked out a handkerchief and brought it to his mouth. Harley looked with horror as he took it away, seeing the small red spots covering the cloth.

She prayed that Batman would succeed and save Mistah J. She couldn't think of a spending a moment without him in her life. She would do everything in her power to keep the Joker alive. He was the reason for her existence, her hero, her savior. She couldn't let him down. What kind of thanks would that be?

Her baby needed its daddy, and she needed him, too.

With tears spilling down her cheeks as she turned to hide them from the Joker, she made a vow in a soft whisper. "I won't fail you, Mistah J."

**AN: I hoped you enjoyed that little piece, idk why I wrote it, but still, it was fun so yeah. If you haven't played Arkham City yet, you definitely should. It's the most perfect videogame EVER and you will never regret playing it. Like omg. The feels.**

**Give me feedback by reviewing, and please check out my other JokerXHarley stories on my profile! :)**


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